Lighten The Mood

After reading the article in this morning’s Arts Journal music news about the former executive director of the Lafayette (IN) Symphony Orchestra that was arrested for alleged sexual misconduct charges involving a minor, I decided to put what I originally had planned for today on hold and post something of a lighter nature…


I don’t typically go through the mountain of musical jokes and anecdotes folks send my way via email but this one caught my attention.

You Know You’re A Music Geek If This Makes You Laugh
~or~
Would You Like An English Literature Minor With That Music Theory Degree?

C, E-flat, and G go into a bar…

The bartender says, “Sorry, but we don’t serve minors.”

So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished; the G is out flat.

An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, “Excuse me. I’ll just be a second.”

An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims,

“Get out now! You’re the seventh minor I’ve found in this bar tonight.” The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes.

The bartender says: “You’re looking sharp tonight, come on in!

This could be a major development.” Which proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and is now au natural. Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he’s under a rest. The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.

The bartender decides he needs a rest – and closes the bar.

About Drew McManus

"I hear that every time you show up to work with an orchestra, people get fired." Those were the first words out of an executive's mouth after her board chair introduced us. That executive is now a dear colleague and friend but the day that consulting contract began with her orchestra, she was convinced I was a hatchet-man brought in by the board to clean house.

I understand where the trepidation comes from as a great deal of my consulting and technology provider work for arts organizations involves due diligence, separating fact from fiction, interpreting spin, as well as performance review and oversight. So yes, sometimes that work results in one or two individuals "aggressively embracing career change" but far more often than not, it reinforces and clarifies exactly what works and why.

In short, it doesn't matter if you know where all the bodies are buried if you can't keep your own clients out of the ground, and I'm fortunate enough to say that for more than 15 years, I've done exactly that for groups of all budget size from Qatar to Kathmandu.

For fun, I write a daily blog about the orchestra business, provide a platform for arts insiders to speak their mind, keep track of what people in this business get paid, help write a satirical cartoon about orchestra life, hack the arts, and love a good coffee drink.

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