Looking Like A Genius Has Never Been Easier

Have you ever wondered what separates a mere schmuck with a stick from a bona fide maestro? Are you strangely attracted by the magnetic charm of a cape and ascot? Are batons really more magical than magic wands? If you answered “Oh dear God, YES!” to any of those questions (who are you kidding, of course you did), then brace yourself for one of the most remarkable websites endorsed by one of the most mystical maestros of our time…

Maestro Dirk Stent for maestrogear.com: "Tell 'em Dirk sent ya!"

Maestrogear.com was officially launched on Sunday, July 11, 2010 and since then has received more than three million hits* due in no small part to its exclusive endorsement deal with Maestro Dirk Stent, Fort Fitzer Philharmonic (FFP) Music Director. Maestro Stent is widely known for his Toscannini-like rise to stardom when he stepped into the FFP’s directorial void created when French guest conductor [name removed on advice of legal counsel] refused to conduct Seventy Six Trombones.

With a promise to patrons that he wouldn’t’ let them leave without a smile on their heart and a melody in their face, Maestro Stent charmed the crowd and shortly thereafter, the FFP board of directors unanimously appointed Maestro Stent as their next Music Director. From that point forward, Maestro Stent has left an indelible mark on classical music and his rumored multi-million dollar endorsement deal with maestrogear.com means his Happy Ending Guarantee** can finally be spread outside the confines of the concert hall.

Visit maestrogear.com today and watch in awe as Maestro Stent puts the gear into action every Sunday at Who’s Minding the Score?

* Unaudited figure.
** Not an actual guarantee.

About Drew McManus

"I hear that every time you show up to work with an orchestra, people get fired." Those were the first words out of an executive's mouth after her board chair introduced us. That executive is now a dear colleague and friend but the day that consulting contract began with her orchestra, she was convinced I was a hatchet-man brought in by the board to clean house.

I understand where the trepidation comes from as a great deal of my consulting and technology provider work for arts organizations involves due diligence, separating fact from fiction, interpreting spin, as well as performance review and oversight. So yes, sometimes that work results in one or two individuals "aggressively embracing career change" but far more often than not, it reinforces and clarifies exactly what works and why.

In short, it doesn't matter if you know where all the bodies are buried if you can't keep your own clients out of the ground, and I'm fortunate enough to say that for more than 15 years, I've done exactly that for groups of all budget size from Qatar to Kathmandu.

For fun, I write a daily blog about the orchestra business, provide a platform for arts insiders to speak their mind, keep track of what people in this business get paid, help write a satirical cartoon about orchestra life, hack the arts, and love a good coffee drink.

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3 thoughts on “Looking Like A Genius Has Never Been Easier

  1. That was funny! Next additions to the Maestro Gear line: A Rosetta Stone option for mastering the “continental” accent heard so frequently from the international jet-setting types on the podium. Not quite sure which European country the genius is from, but you can bet it’s probably South Bend. And for the younger crowd, there needs to be a special hair gel…

  2. Gel? Wouldn’t one ideally want the hair to move a bit, further emphasizing the musical passions brought forth by “maestrionic” gyrations?

    Oh well, perhaps I am old fashioned.

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