Dear Facebook Pages,
I’m terribly sorry I had to do this through a letter, but I’ve been putting this off for far too long. And don’t think this didn’t need to be done, we both know that isn’t true. This note will be the last memory you’ll ever have of my pages; I really don’t care for you anymore, that’s just the way it is…
Don’t let it get you all upset inside but know it was completely your fault, no doubt about it. It is because of your extreme control issues and lack of being there when I needed you most that keep me from being even remotely interested in continuing this relationship with you.
You would be much better off finding a person that can deal with the annoying way you always ruin a moment of inspiration by offering disingenuous help, getting yet another $200 haircut that no one likes, or inviting your friends who buy your affections to everything we do. I always feel like you care more about them than me and in the end, nothing we shared was really ours so much as theirs.
I might miss certain things about you but for right now I’m happier being a bird of a feather. I’m glad this is done and we’re going separate directions. I think you’ll have no shortage finding others to fill my shoes but you seem to love people best when they act like they need you regardless of your behavior. And that’s just the type of person you are.